|Posted on April 15, 2012 at 8:35 AM|
I almost died.
Like must real psychic and mediums, I have experienced deathin many shapes and forms. I am blessed to have an open line direct into the unknown and to the so mystical “Beyond”. This time the experience was special…I experienced my own.
I am not talking about physical death; the one that takes your soul briefly out of your body so can witness the light and evolve. Not this time! …I am talking about the kind of death that takes you from the lightand soaks your Body-Mind-Spirit into the darkest corners of your soul.
For a dedicated light-worker and spiritual activist whostands by my masters and keepers only for the evolution of mankind, honoring truthand justice this journey was truly something else. I suddenly got dizzy and everything became so noisy and shaky, you know like when your inner guide and intuition makes you realize something is off. I stop the busy and the so much doing and finally looked around and noticed blurry pieces of the puzzle, previous misguidance from ego and it happened: I felt and stroke beyond the ground intoa “dark tunnel”, maybe measurable by time and space but those specific detailsare truly not important.
For a greater purpose, I was taken into a challenging route to help enhance my senses, open my heart to a greater level and experience release. The “tunnel” smelled funky, like years of old garbage pushed-down under a rug; it was shameful like a secret closet and as private like a “hidden folder” inside your computer.
I was forced to wear a quarantine-like stray-jacket with aself-retracting string, so I could not escape or reach out into my vast resources. I was also chained to a fixed stick that crossed the tunnel from one side to the other; no way out, but going straight ahead AND through it.
My beloved “team of helpers” allowed this process to happenas they witness patiently for the outcome. My masters also watched silently,like a parent watching your child learning to walk on his/her own, guarding from the distance, just in case you need an emergency rescue. But they know my true heart, strength and potential and they know I am going to be just fine. It’s was just me who was unaware of was coming for me…even my undisputed psychic gifts where in complicity with this masterpiece of personal evolution and tomake it official my higher self step aside to watch left-over fragments of my lower-self become afloat.
I experienced the bad and the ugly. Like an IMAX movie I was exposed to lack, scarcity, hunger, fear, rage like no other, insecurities andimaginary loneliness. I purposely used the word movie, because just like moviesthe experienced could or could not be real, it was up to me to notice the difference. I also used the word imaginary loneliness because deep in my heart I knew it was just a feeling.
For some humans this “dark tunnel” could manifest from one to a few “bad experiences” to provoke a rude awakening into a better you. It could be a bad relationship, a close death, an accident, a traumatic experience, an illness or disease, spiritual confusion, depression,overwhelming stress, self-hatred, resentment, drama, co-dependency, addictions,anger, guilt, fear and the list could go on and on. In my personal case it was a few hand-picked situations just right to trigger wrong, or maybe wrong enough to trigger right.
Speaking of movies, it is said that when you about to die orright before your transition your whole life comes into your mind’s eye like a movie or slideshow; I testify it’s true and also I must share I felt every second of it. The reel was unedited, raw and uncut like no other allowing me to see the inexistence of reality and the reality of inexistence.
I had a profound glance into my early days of spiritual awakening and self-discovery journeys; I could even see the earlier months ofreligious exploration going from one “church” to the other, then from the next “congregation” to the next “assembly”; I can even see my earliest years as my spirit frequently floated out from my human baby body staring at that strange looking symbol on the wall that my mother used to call “The Holy Crucifix”... they placed it as a protective device or shield there because there was some sort of dark entity trying to “take me”. My presence always attracted too many souls and masters from the spiritual world and still does, but my family was not ready for that kind of presence or information and speaking honestly they will never be. They are not suppose to…I can see it now. But let’s not waive our focus from our main story and let’s keep it simple…my family history details are not important right now.
All I can share that is relevant to this anecdote is that Irealized -after seen my life’s slideshow- the many hurts and the many blindfolks around me then and now. I was alsoshown the time when I personally hand-picked them to help define this uniqueincarnation.
From inside the “dark tunnel” I connected to deep retrograde reflection I saw places and faces, fake friends and cunning smiles, traitors and hypocrites, ego-driven leaders, camouflaged negative influences, opportunistic ass-kissing liars, self-proclaimed“chosen-ones”, bullshit miracle healers, greedy visionaries and I even mirrored self-sabotage behaviors I never realized before.
I walked from one light to the other. In my experience it was a place of despair for any mind,confusion for a weak heart and a blur in front of the big picture trying toweaken my faith and shake my essence mocking my divine purpose.
I was lucky enough toalso look at both sides of the tunnel…I noticed they were both illuminated. As a reward for this experience I was under some sort of contract that guaranteed a safe way back to a better version of me, in exchange for absolute detachment, no expectations, surrender of ego and emptiness. But as I said before I had no idea.
In the other side of the tunnel familiar faces are waiting for me, specially 2 of them: my husband’s who always keep sure my heart is never broken and my child’s who smile and all around beauty feeds me like a life-support tube thru our special “umbilical cord” that will always connects us.
Today I am nobody amazed by everything, but expecting nothing. Every second that passes makes me weak and sensitive but yet powerful and stronger…like the lotus merges from the muddy ground and the phoenix from the ashes, I wait for myrising.
If you are experiencing a similar experience I am here to tell you to open your eyes, self-explore and see the big picture…everything happens for a reason. Allow your pain and emotions to come afloat so you don’t drawn. Take charge and take care of it; sooner or later it will be resolved, just make sure it’s on your own terms, but allow it always to be on God-Creator’s watch.
You are not in charge, he/she is.
Take a second to understand this . ..he/she loves you so much... you have been chosen for help, just like me. How do i know? Well..you are reading this …right?
Honoring Love, Light & Primordial Wisdom...
Rev Maria Baez aka Karma Yeshe Chodron